APPLE’S EATING THE WHOLE APPLE PIE

APPLE’S EATING THE WHOLE APPLE PIE*
(To tune of “I’m in Love with a Wonderful Guy,” by Rogers and Hammerstein, from Broadway Musical show “South Pacific)

Hold your scorn, it is perfectly legal
Lowering taxes to keep profits high
Isn’t it part, of our system and smart?
Apple’s eating the whole apple pie

Who has headquarters in Cupertino?
Yet Reno’s its tax home and I’ll tell you why
Nevada’s a state, with a zero tax rate
Apple’s eating the whole apple pie

Why pay taxes like Wal-Mart or Sachs is?
Grand stores housing products to sell
With a royalty, customers loyally buy
And from where who can tell

Dodging tax with a Dutch Irish Sandwich
That is a plan which is cleverly sly
Some say its wrong, not the greedy and strong
Apple’s eating the whole apple
Eating the whole apple
Eating the whole apple pie

Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

* This parody song lyric comments on certain aspects of our corporate tax system that have been the subject of much legitimate debate. It should not to be construed as a reflecting the writer’s views on Apple or as an indictment of Apple’s tax strategies.  Apple is an outstanding American company that pays a large amount of taxes and employs legal means to lover effective tax rates on its profits.  The question is not whether Apple has done anything wrong, it has not, but whether our tax system should permit these complex corporate tax deferral strategies.

WE’RE GONNA NEED GILLS

WE’RE GONNA NEED GILLS
(To tune of “You’ve Gotta Have Heart” by Richard Adler and Jerry Ross, from Broadway Musical “Damn Yankees”)

We’re gonna need gills
What the fishes breathe with, gills
With the ocean rising, ditch all your sleds
When over our heads, it spills
Then we’re gonna need gills

We’re gonna need fins
Shiny scales atop our skins
Polar bears down in Antarctica sit
On Glaciers now little hills
Soon we’re gonna need gills

Do you really think you oughta
Build that home up on the shore?
You’ll be living under water
Coral reef’s a lovely floor
The odds are brimming
You’ll be swimming

We’re gonna need gills
Breathing air will be what kills
Under water where the air doesn’t boil
Till some jerk for oil there drills
For now we’re gonna need gills

CO2 has made the sky mad
Mother Nature didn’t smile
Watch the Ozone on your I-Pad?
More Tornadoes towns defile
A dead canary
This is scary

Were gonna need gills
We’ve no climate warming pills
Floods are raging and the rivers all swell
Yet auto ads sell us frills
When we’re gonna need gills

Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg
All rights reserved

ALONE TOGETHER

ALONE TOGETHER*
(To tune of “Alone Together,” by Arthur Schwartz and Howard Dietz)

Alone together
You’re not with me
I’m not with you
We here together
And yet we’re really
Far apart, together

Alone together
The new milieu
What do we do?
Both in the cloud
Texting to whomever
The silence growing loud,
Together

Our hearts miss in words when we read
The warmth of the touch or the voice we need

And who’ll remember
When talking was
What we once did
Together?

Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg
All rights reserved

*Inspired in part by, March, Andrew, F., “The Flight of Conversation: A Dangerous Mind,” New York Times Sunday Review Opinion, Sunday, April 22, 2012

OCTOBER SONG

OCTOBER SONG
(To tune of “September Song” by Kurt Weill and Maxwell Anderson (considered by many the best song ever written))

It seemed a long, long while
From December to April
When there was still time
To use the tax escape mill

Cunning shelter peddlers
Hatching schemes for those
Disinclined to recall
Former tax scam woes

January drew nigh
February rolled by
March felt hurried
You feel worried

Your CPA will file
An extension, relax
Until October
No mention of tax

Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg
All rights reserved

IT’S BEGINNING TO FEEL A LOT LIKE TAX TIME

IT’S BEGINNING TO FEEL A LOT LIKE TAX TIME
(To tune of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas,” by Meredith Willson (1951))

It’s beginning to feel a lot like tax time
April of the year
You’ve been scouring your checkbook for
Some charity checks and more
Taxes on the homestead you love dear

It’s beginning to feel lot like tax time
Must they ruin the spring?
Feel afraid of the debt you’ll owe
Afraid Uncle Sam will know
That you have not reported everything

Deduct for that family trip, even the wine that you sip
Claiming everything that you spend or do or use
Driven miles on the family car, no matter to where or how far
Self-assessment clouds the mind like booze
And those who face an audit jam the pews

It’s beginning to feel a lot like tax time
Moral codes eschew
Whose to prevent you if, you take off for a nifty skiff?
Sailing off accross the ocean blue

It’s beginning to feel a lot like tax time
Bribe your CPA
Stick a pin in a voodoo doll
Take a loan from your uncle Sol
Then file your tax return and pray

Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg
All rights reserved