(CONGRESS IS) TOO TERRIBLE FOR WORDS

(CONGRESS IS) TOO TERRIBLE FOR WORDS
(To tune of “Too Marvelous for Words” by Richard Whiting and Johnny Mercer (1937))

You’re just too terrible, too awful in a word.
You’re  treacherous, and treasonous,
How could a congress reason thus?

You’re irresponsible, dumb is the proper word,
You’re poisonous, dangerous,
And sure to cost some pain for us.

No deal, no guilt,
You’ve left us feeling livid.
No flair, no will,
 And thinking far too rigid.

And so I’m singing you
This song, not mincing words,
“Dear congress you’re too terrible,
In fact, you’re for the birds.”

 Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

CONGRESS WISHES YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS (2012)

CONGRESS WISHES YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS (2012)
(To tune of “Have Yourself a Very Merry Christmas” by Hugh Martin and Ralph Blane, as performed by Judy Garland in film, “Meet Me in Saint Louis.”)

Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas
From our Super PACS
Next year we’ll be giving you a higher tax

Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas
With a special gift
Next year when we push you off a fiscal cliff

Tis the season of merriment
To the Senate send some elves
And to the house where smug members rent
Seats and represent themselves.

Next election let’s vote to un-tether
What’s been a rich milk cow
Until then we’re stuck with this pathetic sow
And Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas now.

Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg
All rights reserved

MY GUN

MY GUN
(To tune of “My Guy,” by Smokey Robinson, as recorded by Motown artist Mary Wells (1964))

Verses:
Nothing you can say
Could make me give away
My gun.
Nothing you could try,
However many die,
Love my gun.
Guns are everywhere
They’re as common as a toaster.
Everywhere I go with my gun
In my holster.
I’ll tell you where I stand,
What’s always in my hand?
My gun.

No mothering state
Will convince me to hate
My gun.
No president-elect
Could make me lose respect
For my gun.
I’ll give my wife a gun
On he day that we marry,
So a baby and a handgun
She can carry.
I’m telling you from the start,
I’m never long apart
From my gun.

Bridge:
Says so in the constitution
I have the right,
I can arm myself,
Armageddon’s in sight.
Buy an automatic weapon,
With a thirty-round clip,
Just another big shot
On an ego trip.

Verse:
Keep your Brady laws
And keep your claws
Off my gun.
Go around unarmed,
But I feel lucky charmed
With my gun.
I may not have much intellect
But when I’ m toting my Glock
I get respect.
And should I go berserk
I’ll shoot some folks at work
With my gun.

 Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

WE GET PLENTY OF NOTHING

WE GET PLENTY OF NOTHING
(To tune of “I’ve Got Plenty of Nothing) by George Gershwin, Dubose Heyward and Ira Gershwin, from “Porgy and Bess”)

We get plenty of nothing
In return for our votes
We get no help, no respect
They must think we are dopes

The rich get plenty of plenty
Some senator’s have a stash
The graft is bold, the votes get sold
The greed gets ugly and brash
All for cash

We fear a knock on the door
To repossess the rug
Paying taxes, wond’rin’ what for
They can wheel and deal, dollars reel in
We feel, in-secure

We get plenty of nothing
We’ve plenty reasons to pout
The debt goes up, the job’s in doubt
And we’re left feeling left out

Debt goes up,
Job’s in doubt
We’re left out!

Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

OUR MAN BOEHNER

OUR MAN BOEHNER
(To tune of Ol’ Man River, by Jerome Kern and Oscar Hammerstein II from 1927 Broadway musical Show Boat)

Intro:
Republicans work in the halls of congress
Republicans work for the GOP
Democrats work in the halls of congress
Tell them they work there for you and me.
Boehner’s a man in the halls of congress
He’s the House leader, and it seems
He’s always the one with a grim comportment
Never the one with a smile that beams

Verses:
Our man Boehner
Our sad man Boehner
He don’t say nothing
But he must know something
He keeps on frowning
He just keeps frowning all day

Who looks unhappy?
While disagreeing
Whose dour expression
I’m tired of seeing?
Our man Boehner
He keeps on frowning all day

Bridge:
We all live from day-to-day
Working too hard, for not much pay
He gets paid to craft the laws
But all he does is to clench his jaws.

Verse:
I’m so weary
Of that man whining
Cause in one smile hides
A silver lining
Yet our man Boehner
Keeps on frowning all day.

 Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved