MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM TAX FOOLERY

HO, HO, HO! (MERRY CHRISTMAS)
(To original melody, but one you’ll have to imagine)

Ho, Ho, Ho, says hello at Christmas time.
Snow is in the air and carolers sing in rhyme.
Snowmen all around wearing high top-hats,
Feet are stamping snow on the welcome mats,
People whom we love and know,
Saying, Ho, Ho, Ho!

Ho, Ho, Ho, I’m beginning to feel good cheer.
Feeling like it’s going to be a really great New Year.
Searching for my present for the lovely miss,
Hope to get a very long thank you kiss,
Walk her under mistletoe,
Saying, Ho, Ho, Ho!

There’s no better way to say
And express how you’re feeling on a
Wonderful Christmas Day.
Take a deep breath in,
Let it out with a  Ho, Ho, Ho!

Ho, Ho, Ho, through the silver night fly rain-deer.
Landing on the rooftops, nobody inside can hear.
Stockings on the fireplace grown so fat,
In the morning when the kids check proving that,
Santa up the chimney did go,
Saying, Ho, Ho, Ho!

Three happy words we know,
Ho, Ho, Ho!
Merry Christmas to all, and,
Ho, Ho, Ho!

© 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

SELFIE

“Selfie” was named word of the year for 2013.  A “Selfie” is a self-portrait usually taken with a phone camera.  But, the phenomenon more broadly describes an age of self-absorption.  Our lives have always been our own play to produce.  But now we seek to publish our productions without the editor’s hand to scratch out those mundane or maudlin details that lack drama and bore the reader to tears.  We simply think too much about ourselves and lack the discretion to keep our thoughts private. Technology helps us to put off the real world.  In the recently release film “Her” a man actually falls in love with his smartphone’s talking operating system who has a name, Samantha. “Hello, I’m here,” says the smartphone.  Of course, I might fall in love with Scarlett Johansson’s sultry voice. But, essentially, we have an example of fantasy that at its core is isolationist. I can engage in mythical sex with a bodiless machine and who needs other people?  Sounds like a perfect way for the human race to fall to the bottom of Darwin’s evolutionary tree.

SELFIE
(To tune of “Alfie,” by Burt Bacharach and Hal David from the 1966 film of the same name)

What have you become, Selfie?
Are you too much involved with yourself?
Look what you’ve become, Tally up the sum, Selfie?
You’re alone on your own private shelf
Are your happy there? Can’t help

Wondering aloud, Selfie.
Are you proud of the person you are?
Posing for a shot, give it all you’ve got, Selfie.
Facebook shines on you and you’re a star.

A heart grown bare.
One not even aware Selfie.
There’s people near
People who need other people
Loving people.

Love is meant for two, Selfie.
To love yourself and no one else, Selfie.
That’s not true love, but something else.
That’s narcissism, Selfie.

Put your phone down and just look around
There’s a world to be found, Selfie.
Oh Selfie!

Lyric © 2013 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved.

CONGRESS WISHES YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS – 2013

CONGRESS WISHES YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS – 2013
(To tune of “Have Yourself a Very Merry Christmas” by Hugh Martin and Ralph Blane, as performed by Judy Garland in film, “Meet Me in Saint Louis.”)

Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas
With no Food-Aid bill
Next year you’ll be hungrier than ever, still

Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas
Best keep out of sight.
You may be deported right on Christmas night

So upset are Tea Partiers
That their party is, on ice
And the Dems get so haughty then.
Being naughty and, not nice

Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas.
Better plug the dikes.
Flood insurance premiums are due for hikes

Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas.
Another session’s done
Next year won’t be better but you’ll have your gun

(Extra verse)
Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas
Out of work? Life’s hard?
No more monthly benefits, your Christmas card.

Should be the season for merriment.
To the Senate send, some elves.
And, to the house, where smug members rent
Seats and represent themselves.

Next election let’s vote to un-tether
What’s been a rich milk cow
Until then, we’re stuck with this pathetic sow.
And, Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas now.

Lyric © 2011 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

SUGAR’S SWEET

The Miami Herald reported today, in an article by Peter Wallsten and Tom Hamburger, that as lawmakers in DC continue to feud over food aid for the poor (food stamps), common ground was easily found in support tor continuation of government protection of the sugar industry from state subsidies to foreign sugar producers.   Why? Because the sugar industry, although small, is a large contributor to political campaigns and therefore wields disproportionately great influence on both sides of the political divide.  The Fanjul family in Palm Beach, owners of brands like Domino, is especially influential. This unsurprising development is yet another sad example of how our government has been corrupted by fast-and-loose campaign financing laws.

SUGAR’S SWEET
(To tune of, “Ain’t She Sweet,” by Milton Ager and Jack Yellen (1927))

Sugar’s sweet.
Always offers up a treat.
For a congressman co-incidentally
Sugar’s sweet

Sugar’s great.
For $10,000 bucks a plate.
Leaders fawn on Fanjul confidentially
Sugar’s great.

Big Sugar gets, hard bought protection
A Super PAC, big-bucks connection

Indiscrete
Buying votes with sugar-beet
Proves corruption thrives not accidentally
Sugar’s sweet

All other bills, get not a mention
For “Domino”, they’ve rapt attention

“Tout de suite”*
Promise sugar in a tweet.
And they’ll justify, contorting mentally
Sugar’s sweet

French for “at once.”

Lyric © 2013 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

IF THEY ONLY HAD A HEART, BRAIN, NERVE

This post deals with the now apparent dysfunction of our entire government:  The House is held hostage by Tea Party anti-government zealots; the Senate has gone nuclear in changing the filibuster rules thereby aggravating already worn working relationships between the two parties; and, the President’s team screws up the health care launch while on foreign policy matters, he spurns speaking softly and carrying a big stick, but, instead, speaks loudly, then lays down his stick.

IF THEY ONLY HAD A HEART, BRAIN, NERVE
(To the tune of “If I Only Had a Heart,” “If I Only Had a Brain,” & “If I Only Had Some Nerve,” by Harold Arlen and E. Y. Harburg, from 1939 iconic film “The Wizard of Oz”)

In the House they’d do real working
Not obstructing, always shirking
Where pretending is an art.
They would act on immigration
‘Stead of fingering the nation
If the House just had a heart

And the Senate would not dither
Like it flitters hither, wither
Treating voters with disdain
There would be no need to muster
Votes to stop a filibuster
If the Senate had a brain

Oh, we the people here.
Vote to have our say.
Politicians take our vote away.
It’s the lobbyists whom they obey

And in the world we’d be respected
All our civil rights protected.
With more confidence and verve.
He would do a lot less talking
‘Bout red-lines, then backwards walking.
If the President had nerve.

Lyric © 2013 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserve