TAX ENTERTAINMENT

TAX ENTERTAINMENT
(To the tune of “That’s Entertainment” by Arthur Schwartz and Howard Dietz from the MGM musical film “The Band Wagon starring Fred Astaire (1953))

At a game you’re romancing a flame
Eating  lunch handicapping a hunch
Sipping punch, at the family brunch
Tax entertainment

You’re a star taking off for the car
Making de-preciation go far
Playing golf and then writing off par
Tax entertainment

With pluck try your luck at deducting a trip
Hotels and even the tip
“They’ll never catch me” you quip
Then some bad luck, you’ve caught it
A notice for an audit

Disguise all that fear in your eyes
We can guess at the cause: IRS
More or less, you’re a grape in the press
A song to instruct, you’d best not deduct
Tax entertainment

Lyric © 2011 by Robert S. Steinberg
All rights reserved

IT’S BEGINNING TO FEEL A LOT LIKE TAX TIME

April is fast drawing nigh and the tax filing panic is beginning to boil.  So, I’ll be posting and in some cases reposting lyrics describing the tax paranoia that blossoms each spring.

IT’S BEGINNING TO FEEL A LOT LIKE TAX TIME
(To tune of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas,” by Meredith Willson (1951))

It’s beginning to feel a lot like tax time
April of the year
You’ve been scouring your checkbook for
Some charity checks and more
Taxes on the homestead you love dear

It’s beginning to feel lot like tax time
Must they ruin the spring?
Feel afraid of the debt you’ll owe
Afraid Uncle Sam will know
That you have not reported everything

Deduct for the family trip, even the wine that you sip
Claiming everything that you spend or do or use
Driven miles on the family car, no matter to where or how far
Self-assessment clouds the mind like booze
But those who face an audit jam the pews

It’s beginning to feel a lot like tax time
Moral codes eschew
Who’s to prevent you if, you take off for a nifty skiff?
And sail away across the ocean blue

It’s beginning to feel a lot like tax time
Bribe your CPA
Stick a pin in a voodoo doll, take a loan from your uncle Sol
Then file your tax return and pray

Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

HOME AT THE RANGE

A resident in Big Pine Key, Florida set up his own backyard target range where he regularly practices shooting.  The neighbors understandably were nervous about someone discharging a firearm near where children play and neighbors barbecue.  Local law enforcement, even if inclined to intercede, could not, however, since Florida State law prevents county or city governments from prohibiting or regulating backyard target ranges.

HOME AT THE RANGE
(To tune of “Home on the Range,” (state song of Kansas) by Dr. Brewster M. Higley & Daniel E. Kelly (1870s)

Home, home at the range.
Why, if I shoot my gun, am I blamed?
My AK-47,
Brings me closer to heaven
I’ll have my rights no matter who’s maimed.

Home, home at the range.
Where the gunfire makes sane folks misgive.
When I shoot at my target
If some good neighbors are hit
Then I’ll see them in court should they live.

Lyric © 2014 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

BITCOIN’S GONE NOW

Mt Gox, one of the Bitcoin exchanges, is filing for bankruptcy after almost half a billion Bitcoins disappeared, virtual and virtually gone. 

BITCOIN’S GONE NOW
(To tune of, “My Man’s Gone Now,” by George Gershwin, Ira Gershwin and DuBose Heyward, from American folk opera, “Porgy and Bess.”)

Bitcoin’s gone now
Virtual and new it was
Too good to be true it was
All those Bitcoins prized

Bitcoin’s gone now
No one will be spending it
Bankruptcy is ending it
Is anyone surprised?

So virtual
And so contrived

Bitcoin’s gone now
Oh I got in much too late
Someone needs to regulate
It’s time they realized

Bitcoin’s gone now
Almost half-a-bill of it
Think I’ve had my fill of it
Dreams of gold downsized

So virtual
And so contrived

Bitcoin’s gone now
Use to bite coins testing them
Bitcoins would be besting them
It was advertised

Bitcoin’s gone now
For lessons learned I’m thanking it
From now on I’m banking it
Any cash derived

Lyric © 2014 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

HILARY

HILARY
(To tune of “Tammy” by Jay Livingston & Ray Evans from 1957 film “Tammy and the Bachelor”)

Wild speculation’s already begun
Hilary, Hilary
Good bet she’ll run

She’d wear the pants, be as stout as a Hun
Hilary, Hilary
Good bet she’ll run

In that house of white
She was quite
A first lady then
She’ll keep a close eye on Bill
If she moves in again

To cheer Madam President, Bill the first man
Hilary, Hilary
That would be grand

In charge she’d permit no promiscuous fun
Hilary, Hilary
Poor Bill gets none

Oh the GOP
Would hate to see
Her at the helm
Benghazi stays on their plates
Encapsulates their realm

But she’d do no worse than some others have done
Hilary, Hilary
Good bet she’ll run

Lyric © 2014 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved