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MISTER TAX INSPECTOR

By now most Americans will have filed 2013 income tax returns. The anxiety about filing, having passed, turns into worry over the daily mail. Will the postman deliver a dreaded IRS letter stating that you have been selected for an audit? You might then feel like this.

 MISTER TAX INSPECTOR
(To tune of, “Fascinating Rhythm,” by George and Ira Gershwin)

Mister Tax Inspector
You’ve got me really scared
Mister Tax Inspector
I’m in a flurry.
When I read your letter
I was not prepared
Can you do nothing better?
Than cause me worry?

Each year I file my taxes on time.
(Never late, I’m never late)
Feeling like I’ve committed some crime
I wonder,

Could I be mistaken?
To fear you so?
Will I be forsaken?
Will good luck fail me?
If I have finagled
You’re sure to know.
Can you be inveigled?
Or will you jail me?

I thought that self- assessment meant
I’m on my own.
Mister Tax Inspector
Won’t you please leave me alone?

Reprise:
Mister Tax Inspector
I feel abused.
Why am I selected?
Out of the millions?
Why’d you even bother?
I’m so confused.
Say you wouldn’t rather?
Hunt those with billions?

I thought that self-assessment meant
I’m on my own.
Mister Tax Inspector
Won’t you please leave me alone.

Lyric © 2014 by Robert S .Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

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