THAT’S WHY I NEEDED PENCE

THAT’S WHY I NEEDED PENCE
(To the tune of “Teenager in Love,” by Doc Pomus and Mort Shuman as recorded by Dion and the Belmonts in 1959).

Pence is conservative too
Sure glad he’s by my side.
Though he will have to live through
My ego-Trumping tide.
I’ve mush for brains and I lack common sense.
I’m just a Putz, that’s why I needed Pence.

Pence is against abortion.
But not against the gun.
Explaining with contortions
Why he’s the lucky one.
I’ve mush for brains, and I lack common sense.
I’m just a Putz, that’s why I needed Pence.

I’m disconnected
An SOB.
Pence is accepted
By the GOP.

And so he’s been selected
To serve as my VP
And should I get elected
Then he can serve me tea.
I’ve mush for brains, and I lack common sense.
I’m just a Putz, that’s why I needed Pence.

Reprise
Pence is from Indiana.
The Midwest, not the South.
I slip on a banana
With each word from my mouth.
The GOP is hesitant and tense
Cause I’m a Putz, that’s why I needed Pence.

Lyric Copyright 2016 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

SWEETS FOR YOUR TREATS

SWEETS FOR YOUR TREATS
(To tune of “Sweets for my Sweet,” by Doc Pomus and Mort Shuman, originally recorded by The Drifters in 1961).

I could show you a menu of pollutants.
Never mentioned in secretive back rooms.
Where Big Sugar ladles out its largess.
Buying votes that lead to Algae blooms.

But you want sweets for your treats
Sugar for your coffee.
What sort of world do you want to see?
Sweets for your treats
Sugar for your coffee
Open your eyes, think carefully.

Now the River of Grass is slowly dying
Deadly phosphorus run-off from the Lake.
If you want to see graceful Ibis flying.
Better wake up, a habitats at stake.

Do you want sweets for your treats?
Sugar for your coffee?
What sort of world so you want to see?
Sweets for your treats.
Sugar for your coffee.
Open your eyes, think carefully.

Lyric © 2016 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

WELCOME TO ABSURDUM

WELCOME TO ABSURDUM
(To original melody)

Welcome to Absurdum
A place they used to call America.
And if you’re coming to the USA
Best pack a bullet-proof vest.
All the crazies live here.
Loaded guns everywhere.
So you’d better steer clear.
God bless America.

Welcome to Absurdum
Now look who’s vying to be president.
An egomaniac with a coif.
A lady who wants to wear the pants.
Soon the crazies will vote.
“Open-carry” promote.
Privacy’s in the moat.
Liberty’s a game of chance.

Welcome to Absurdum
A place they used to call America.
Honest Abe’s restless grave.
Sees us fooled all the time.
Oligarchs plot and rule.
Lobbyists selling mule.
Try to live on a dime.
God bless America.

© 2016 By Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

I AM AN AMERICAN – 2016

I AM AN AMERICAN
(To original melody)

I am an American
And proudly I say
I live in America
In the U.S. of A

My heart beats American
Courageous and free
I’m a living testament
To the best
That America can be

Some thought the dream wouldn’t last
But the torch once lit has been passed
(Has been passed)

I am an American
One limb of the tree
Ever mindful I’m blessed
Up to any test,
An American
That’s me

Big-hearted America
One dream, one destiny
Ever mindful we’re blessed
Up to any test
All Americans, All Americans
All Americans
Are we.

© 2012, 2015, 2016 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved