WELCOME TO ABSURDUM

WELCOME TO ABSURDUM
(To original melody)

Welcome to Absurdum
A place they used to call America.
And if you’re coming to the USA
Best pack a bullet-proof vest.
All the crazies live here.
Loaded guns everywhere.
So you’d better steer clear.
God bless America.

Welcome to Absurdum
Now look who’s vying to be president.
An egomaniac with a coif.
A lady who wants to wear the pants.
Soon the crazies will vote.
“Open-carry” promote.
Privacy’s in the moat.
Liberty’s a game of chance.

Welcome to Absurdum
A place they used to call America.
Honest Abe’s restless grave.
Sees us fooled all the time.
Oligarchs plot and rule.
Lobbyists selling mule.
Try to live on a dime.
God bless America.

© 2016 By Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

HOME AT THE RANGE

A resident in Big Pine Key, Florida set up his own backyard target range where he regularly practices shooting.  The neighbors understandably were nervous about someone discharging a firearm near where children play and neighbors barbecue.  Local law enforcement, even if inclined to intercede, could not, however, since Florida State law prevents county or city governments from prohibiting or regulating backyard target ranges.

HOME AT THE RANGE
(To tune of “Home on the Range,” (state song of Kansas) by Dr. Brewster M. Higley & Daniel E. Kelly (1870s)

Home, home at the range.
Why, if I shoot my gun, am I blamed?
My AK-47,
Brings me closer to heaven
I’ll have my rights no matter who’s maimed.

Home, home at the range.
Where the gunfire makes sane folks misgive.
When I shoot at my target
If some good neighbors are hit
Then I’ll see them in court should they live.

Lyric © 2014 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

COME LIVE IN FLORIDA

What does Florida’s Stand-Your-Ground madness say about us? 

COME LIVE IN FLORIDA
(To tune of, “People Will Say we’re in Love,” by Rodgers and Hammerstein from Broadway show “Oklahoma”)

Come live in Florida
We don’t fund mental health
We flaunt monumental wealth
We spend our money on guns

People in Florida
Love dropping names too much
Love violent games too much
We spend our money on guns

We hate Obamacare
Our governor, fed money shuns
Come film, your crime drama here
We spend our money on guns.

Lyric © 2013 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

ISN’T IT A PITY?

This post speaks to the shameful failure of congress to enact even modest gun control legislation supported by a large majority of Americans.

ISN’T IT A PITY?
(To tune of, Isn’t it a Pity?” by George & Ira Gershwin)

 Here we are again
A task undone
Still any fool
Can buy a gun
Isn’t it a pity, that we can’t vote today?

 Join the NRA
They’re not ashamed
If he’s unarmed
The victim’s blamed
Isn’t it pity, that we can’t vote today?

To think of all those sessions wasted
All that cajoling
Telephoning, polling
The turkey’s basted
By the gun lobby
And us? We’re just a hobby.

 Send a message clear
Next time we vote
We have the cure
The antidote
But, isn’t it a pity, that we can’t vote today?

Lyric 2013 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

THEY SAY IT’S WONDERFUL

THEY SAY IT’S WONDERFUL(To tune of, “They Say it’s Wonderful,” by Irving Berlin, from 1946 Broadway show “Annie Get Your Gun.”)

 Verses:
They say that owning a gun
Is wonderful,
It’s wonderful,
So they say.

And to be holding a gun
Is wonderful,
Wonderful,
So they tell me

 Bridge:
I’ve never pulled a trigger
My joys feel somewhat bigger
I’ve only heard those joining the NRA,
Say,

Verse:
“And if some people are killed
Though terrible, it’s wonderful
To be someone
With a gun.”

Bridge 2:
Say I’m a little dream-ish
Perhaps a bit too squeamish
But I believe this world can be good and grand
And 

Verse:
I’d rather live in a world
That’s beautiful, and wonderful
For everyone
With no guns

Lyric © 2013 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved