ASK TRUMP

ASK TRUMP
(To the tune of, “Ask Me How Do I Feel,” by Frank Loesser from the 1950 Broadway Musical Guys and Dolls)

Ask Trump what does he read
And he’ll tell you he doesn’t like reading.
Well if knowledge is food for the brain
His could use a good feeding.

Big decisions, a president’s task.
All he makes from the seat of his pants
“Bout one consequence, don’t even ask.
You’d be better off talking to plants.

Ask if he’s told a lie
He’ll react with his arrogance flaring.
Well if truth was a leaf on the tree
He’s a windstorm unsparing.

Then he’ll speak and jump into the fire
Right out of the pan.
Well, what could you expect
From a selfish and ignorant man.

 

Lyric © 2018 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

A FOUL AND CRUSHING TIDE

A FOUL AND CRUSHING TIDE
(To the tune of, “Long and Winding Road, by Paul McCartney, as recorded by Paul McCartney and Wings)

A foul and crushing tide
of autocracy
I never thought I’d see.
This tide roll over me.
He answers to, “My Liege.”
Our rights are under siege.

Who’d justify the means
by his own evil ends?
One who pretends to love
free democracy.
While our Due Process Clause
he shreds to self-applause.

Every time he tells a lie
there’s people who’ll believe him.
Prove to them he’s told a lie
the fools will still believe him

This turning from the truth
feels so sad I could cry
In pain, I wonder why
our founders had to die.
We need them here today.
We’ve surely lost our way.

 

Lyric © 2018 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

I’D RUSH RIGHT IN WITHOUT A GUN

Our humble president has just crowned himself a hero by claiming he’d have rushed right into the Marjory Stoneman Douglas School during the shooting, even without a gun.

 I’D RUSH RIGHT IN WITHOUT A GUN
(To the tune of “That’s Why the Lady is a Tramp,” by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart)

I am a hero with medals galore
I’ve rescued swimmers while safe on the shore.
I’m so courageous, all threats are a bore.
And I’d rush right in without a gun.

I hit a homer of World Series fame.
I scored a touchdown in a Super Bowl game.
If you don’t believe me, Fake News is to blame.
And I’d rush right in without a gun.

I used my clout, to skip Viet Nam.
But truth be damned.
I’m brave.
No knave.

I grab girl’s privates, to me that such fun.
But I’d rush right in without a gun.

Lyric © 2018 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

WHEN DONALD TWEETS

WHEN DONALD TWEETS
(To the tune of, Up on the Roof,” by Gerry Goffin and Carole King as recorded by The Drifters (1962))

When Donald Trump wakes up on his throne
He reaches for his phone
And starts to type.
Begins to tweet what’s gotten him steamed
Or what he’s dreamed
To need a morning hype.

When Donald tweets what’s fuming in his head.
The White House staff all wish they’d stayed in bed.

Let me tell you now

A president should measure his words
Not seem absurd
Like someone’s angry aunt.
And one who is the voice of the State
Should ruminate
Like Plato and not rant.

But Donald proudly brags he doesn’t read.
How could we let an ignoramus lead?

And do I have to say that

Swagger on the nuclear stage
And ego rage alarm
the world elites
The missile codes are under his thumb
So we’re at DEFCON I
When Donald Tweets.
When Donald Tweets
When Donald Tweets

 

Lyric © 2018 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

NORTH OF THE BORDER

NORTH OF THE BORDER
(To the tune of, “South of the Border,” by Jimmy Kennedy & Michael Carr and featured in Frank Sinatra’s 1958 Concept Album “Come Fly With Me.”)

North of the border from old Mexico.
Down where the Rio Grande lays out its hand
in gentle flow.
The Donald is building a wall soon to grow.
North of the border from old Mexico.

He’s spending a billion to seal-off the land
But he could spend a trillion and still not even understand
These people keep coming, where else can they go?
But North of the border from old Mexico.

In their eyes you can see desperation.
There is violence and chaos about.
And when people have reached desperation.
No silly wall will keep them out.

North of the border we’re really naïve.
Thinking a wall defends when in the end walls deceive.
In shutting them out, we’re shut-in you know.
North of the border from old Mexico.

Lyric © 2017 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reservied

OBAMACARE

OBAMACARE
(To the tune of, “Our Love is Here to Stay,” by George Gershwin & Ira Gershwin.)

Obamacare.
Thankfully here to stay.
Another year
Under the ACA

Republicans and the President
Promising to repeal and replace.
Suffered embarrassment.
All of them losing face.

Obamacare.
Mandates the right abhors.
But to be fair.
Millions that law insures.

Donald may grimace and grumble.
Not being humble.
But, “Health-care for all,” we say.
Obamacare
Hooray!

Lyric © 2017 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved.

WHAT’S SO GOOD ABOUT THE NEWS?

WHAT’S SO GOOD ABOUT THE NEWS?
(To the tune of “What’s so Good About Goodbye?” by Smokey Robinson as recorded by The Miracles)

What’s so good about the news?
All it does is give me the blues.
Read how Trump can get elected
and how Putin is suspected.
Tell me, what’s so good about it?*
I could have done without it.*
What’s so good about the news?

In the Wall Street Journal today.
Read they’ll take my health plan away.
Though I’m healthy, I’m not wealthy.
And I can’t afford miscues.
Tell me, what’s so great about it?
I’d be OK without it.
What’s so great about the news?

Be like Trump and never read.
What a sheltered life I would lead.
Thinking ignorance is blissful
But that man is just abysmal
Tell you what’s so good about it?
We’d all be dumb without it
That’s what’s good about the news.

Lyric © by Robert S. Steinberg except starred (*) lines verbatim from original song.
All rights reserved.

DON’T WANT TO VOTE

DON’T WANT TO VOTE
(To tune of “This Can’t be Love,” by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart)

Don’t want to vote.
The candidates all suck
Vote Trump? Vote Clinton? Vote ne’er!

Don’t want to vote.
Would prefer Donald Duck.
To this madam or billionaire.

Oh make these two shut up
Cause when they speak.
My knees grow weak, from
Mal de mer.

Don’t want to vote.
A liar or a schmuck?
I’ll toss a coin in the air.

But it’s my right to vote.
No right to flout.
I’d be called out, so
I will vote.

Don’t want to vote.
But I’ll be at the polls.
To cast my vote in despair.

Lyric © by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

THAT’S WHY NOVEMBER GIVES ME CRAMPS

THAT’S WHY NOVEMBER GIVES ME CRAMPS
(To the tune of “That’s Why the Lady is a Tramp,” by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart).

Trump is immodest, he’s all he’s about.
Wall Street on Clinton has far too much clout.
Punching your ballot, you’ll vote with a pout.
That’s why November gives me cramps.

At least Obama was honest and smart.
He made mistakes but made them with his heart.
These two turn hypocrisy into art.
That’s why November gives me cramps

Oh God please send, John Kennedy back
He had a knack, with words.
What turds!

Loathe both the Donkey and Elephant camps.
That’s why November gives me cramps.

Reprise

Trump is bombastic, he bellows and rants
Often he blunders, but never recants
Clinton’s a lady, but she wears the pants.
That’s why November gives me cramps.

Trump’s kid Ivanka is lovely to see
Chelsea’s a mother, as sweet as can be.
I’d be less vexed by their candidacy.
That’s why November gives me cramps

The one we vote for, we should admire.
One who’d inspire.
Be proud.
Not loud.

Loathe both the Donkey and Elephant camps.
That’s why November gives me cramps.

 

Lyric © 2016 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esq.
All rights reserved

 

THAT’S WHY I NEEDED PENCE

THAT’S WHY I NEEDED PENCE
(To the tune of “Teenager in Love,” by Doc Pomus and Mort Shuman as recorded by Dion and the Belmonts in 1959).

Pence is conservative too
Sure glad he’s by my side.
Though he will have to live through
My ego-Trumping tide.
I’ve mush for brains and I lack common sense.
I’m just a Putz, that’s why I needed Pence.

Pence is against abortion.
But not against the gun.
Explaining with contortions
Why he’s the lucky one.
I’ve mush for brains, and I lack common sense.
I’m just a Putz, that’s why I needed Pence.

I’m disconnected
An SOB.
Pence is accepted
By the GOP.

And so he’s been selected
To serve as my VP
And should I get elected
Then he can serve me tea.
I’ve mush for brains, and I lack common sense.
I’m just a Putz, that’s why I needed Pence.

Reprise
Pence is from Indiana.
The Midwest, not the South.
I slip on a banana
With each word from my mouth.
The GOP is hesitant and tense
Cause I’m a Putz, that’s why I needed Pence.

Lyric Copyright 2016 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved