HOME AT THE RANGE

A resident in Big Pine Key, Florida set up his own backyard target range where he regularly practices shooting.  The neighbors understandably were nervous about someone discharging a firearm near where children play and neighbors barbecue.  Local law enforcement, even if inclined to intercede, could not, however, since Florida State law prevents county or city governments from prohibiting or regulating backyard target ranges.

HOME AT THE RANGE
(To tune of “Home on the Range,” (state song of Kansas) by Dr. Brewster M. Higley & Daniel E. Kelly (1870s)

Home, home at the range.
Why, if I shoot my gun, am I blamed?
My AK-47,
Brings me closer to heaven
I’ll have my rights no matter who’s maimed.

Home, home at the range.
Where the gunfire makes sane folks misgive.
When I shoot at my target
If some good neighbors are hit
Then I’ll see them in court should they live.

Lyric © 2014 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

CONGRESS WISHES YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS – 2013

CONGRESS WISHES YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS – 2013
(To tune of “Have Yourself a Very Merry Christmas” by Hugh Martin and Ralph Blane, as performed by Judy Garland in film, “Meet Me in Saint Louis.”)

Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas
With no Food-Aid bill
Next year you’ll be hungrier than ever, still

Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas
Best keep out of sight.
You may be deported right on Christmas night

So upset are Tea Partiers
That their party is, on ice
And the Dems get so haughty then.
Being naughty and, not nice

Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas.
Better plug the dikes.
Flood insurance premiums are due for hikes

Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas.
Another session’s done
Next year won’t be better but you’ll have your gun

(Extra verse)
Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas
Out of work? Life’s hard?
No more monthly benefits, your Christmas card.

Should be the season for merriment.
To the Senate send, some elves.
And, to the house, where smug members rent
Seats and represent themselves.

Next election let’s vote to un-tether
What’s been a rich milk cow
Until then, we’re stuck with this pathetic sow.
And, Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas now.

Lyric © 2011 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

THEY SAY IT’S WONDERFUL

THEY SAY IT’S WONDERFUL(To tune of, “They Say it’s Wonderful,” by Irving Berlin, from 1946 Broadway show “Annie Get Your Gun.”)

 Verses:
They say that owning a gun
Is wonderful,
It’s wonderful,
So they say.

And to be holding a gun
Is wonderful,
Wonderful,
So they tell me

 Bridge:
I’ve never pulled a trigger
My joys feel somewhat bigger
I’ve only heard those joining the NRA,
Say,

Verse:
“And if some people are killed
Though terrible, it’s wonderful
To be someone
With a gun.”

Bridge 2:
Say I’m a little dream-ish
Perhaps a bit too squeamish
But I believe this world can be good and grand
And 

Verse:
I’d rather live in a world
That’s beautiful, and wonderful
For everyone
With no guns

Lyric © 2013 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved