WELCOME TO ABSURDUM

WELCOME TO ABSURDUM
(To original melody)

Welcome to Absurdum
A place they used to call America.
And if you’re coming to the USA
Best pack a bullet-proof vest.
All the crazies live here.
Loaded guns everywhere.
So you’d better steer clear.
God bless America.

Welcome to Absurdum
Now look who’s vying to be president.
An egomaniac with a coif.
A lady who wants to wear the pants.
Soon the crazies will vote.
“Open-carry” promote.
Privacy’s in the moat.
Liberty’s a game of chance.

Welcome to Absurdum
A place they used to call America.
Honest Abe’s restless grave.
Sees us fooled all the time.
Oligarchs plot and rule.
Lobbyists selling mule.
Try to live on a dime.
God bless America.

© 2016 By Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

BUYING THE VOTES WITH CASH

The Miami Herald has been running series of investigative reports this week on for-profit colleges.  Today’s article dealt with how the colleges buy influence in Tallahassee and Washington by making large campaign contributions.  Thank you Supreme Court for Citizens United.  Here’s how the for-profit college industry might respond to the Herald’s findings.

 

BUYING THE VOTES WITH CASH
(To tune of, “Falling in Love with Love,” by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart)

Buying the votes with cash is how you gain influence.
Buying the votes with cash is knowing the rules.
Voting with just your vote is living a fantasy.
Voting on just one day is only for fools.

We buy the votes and so, we always get what we want.
Call it corruption, call it whatever you please.
You’d buy the votes, you would, if you had the wherewithal.
The world goes ‘round on sleaze.

Lyric © 2015 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

CONGRESS WISHES YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS (2014)

CONGRESS WISHES YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS (2014)
(To tune of “Have Yourself a Very Merry Christmas” by Hugh Martin and Ralph Blane, as performed by Judy Garland in film, “Meet Me in Saint Louis.”)

Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas
With a last Hurrah!
Sounds familiar: Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah!

Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas
What a spending bill.
Stuffed with so much pork it’s smelling like road-kill.

Tis the season of merriment
To the Senate send some elves
And to the house where smug members rent
Seats and represent themselves.

Next year we will have another congress.
An angry one, and-how!
We may come to wish for this pathetic sow
And Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas now.

Reprise
Congress wishes you a Merry Christmas.
Isn’t Chutzpah bold?
They’ve upped campaign funding limits by ten-fold.

Why three-cheers for the candidates?
In all fifty states? What for?
Millionaires have selected them.
And elected them. What’s more –

Next year we will have another congress.
A better one? No – how!
We may come to wish for this pathetic sow
Your congress wishes you a Merry Christmas now.

Lyric © 2014 by Robert S. Steinberg
All rights reserved

IVE GROWN ACCUSTOMED TO DISGRACE

IVE GROWN ACCUSTOMED TO DISGRACE
(To tune of, “I’ve Grown Accustomed to Your Face,” by Alan Jay Lerner & Frederick Loewe, from the 1956 Broadway Show and 1964 film “My Fair Lady)

I’ve grown accustomed to disgrace
from what is broken in DC.
I’ve grown accustomed to the noise
of politics, the ploys,
No highs, just lows.
Embarrassing, but shows

Are what’s expected up there now
Can one respect dishonesty?
Who had declared our independence
were extraordinary men.
Sorely we could use a
Thomas Jefferson again.

But he is nowhere in that place.
There’s none like him around.
So, I’m accustomed to disgrace.

Lyric © 2014 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved.

THE LOBBYIST’S PRAYER

THE LOBBYIST’S PRAYER
(To tune of “My Prayer” by James Kennedy and Georges Boulanger,  recorded by The Platters)

When vote cloture draws nigh
And the pollsters start ringing
When the stakes are quite high
So the lobbyists say
Then out of the woodwork they crawl
And pray

My prayer
Is a meeting for two
Somewhere out of the way
With a Capra* plot-line

My prayer
Has some cash out of view
Nothing needed to say
Graft is simply divine

That bill
Coming up on the hill
We don’t want to pass
That this payment will kill

My prayer
And the comfort it gives
Knowing profits will soar
For as long as greed lives

Let the losers play fair
Money answers my prayer

* Frank Capra, director of the classic movie about political corruption, “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” (1939).

Lyric © 2011 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

SUPER PAC

SUPER PAC
(To tune of “Bali Ha’i” by Rodgers and Hammerstein from Broadway Musical South Pacific.)

Super Pac, you’re spending
All the night and the day
On attacks unending
That’s OK? That’s OK?

On your funds no limit
Corporate rights, so they say
In the minds of dimwits
That’s OK? That’s OK?

A new set of rules
By which to play
Buying of votes by the ones
Who can pay.

Every fact, made blurry
Every truth, turned gray
Super Pac, I worry
That’s OK? That’s OK?

 Ok, while our dreams slip away.

 Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

A FINE CONGRESS

A FINE CONGRESS
(To tune of “A Fine Romance” by Jerome Kern and Dorothy Fields)

A fine Congress
With no conscience
A fine Congress
Too much nonsense
Each vote is always strictly the party line
They won’t give us the time
Isn’t the Congress fine?

A Fine Congress
That serves money
And rich lobbies
Who spread honey
Republicans and Democrats sound divine
Give them your vote, not mine
Isn’t the Congress fine?

Lyric © 2011 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved