THAT’S WHY NOVEMBER GIVES ME CRAMPS

THAT’S WHY NOVEMBER GIVES ME CRAMPS
(To the tune of “That’s Why the Lady is a Tramp,” by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart).

Trump is immodest, he’s all he’s about.
Wall Street on Clinton has far too much clout.
Punching your ballot, you’ll vote with a pout.
That’s why November gives me cramps.

At least Obama was honest and smart.
He made mistakes but made them with his heart.
These two turn hypocrisy into art.
That’s why November gives me cramps

Oh God please send, John Kennedy back
He had a knack, with words.
What turds!

Loathe both the Donkey and Elephant camps.
That’s why November gives me cramps.

Reprise

Trump is bombastic, he bellows and rants
Often he blunders, but never recants
Clinton’s a lady, but she wears the pants.
That’s why November gives me cramps.

Trump’s kid Ivanka is lovely to see
Chelsea’s a mother, as sweet as can be.
I’d be less vexed by their candidacy.
That’s why November gives me cramps

The one we vote for, we should admire.
One who’d inspire.
Be proud.
Not loud.

Loathe both the Donkey and Elephant camps.
That’s why November gives me cramps.

 

Lyric © 2016 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esq.
All rights reserved

 

WELCOME TO ABSURDUM

WELCOME TO ABSURDUM
(To original melody)

Welcome to Absurdum
A place they used to call America.
And if you’re coming to the USA
Best pack a bullet-proof vest.
All the crazies live here.
Loaded guns everywhere.
So you’d better steer clear.
God bless America.

Welcome to Absurdum
Now look who’s vying to be president.
An egomaniac with a coif.
A lady who wants to wear the pants.
Soon the crazies will vote.
“Open-carry” promote.
Privacy’s in the moat.
Liberty’s a game of chance.

Welcome to Absurdum
A place they used to call America.
Honest Abe’s restless grave.
Sees us fooled all the time.
Oligarchs plot and rule.
Lobbyists selling mule.
Try to live on a dime.
God bless America.

© 2016 By Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

WHAT WE DON’T NEED NOW

WHAT WE DON’T NEED NOW
(To the tune of “What the World Needs Now is Love,” by Burt Bacharach & Hal David)

Chorus
What we don’t need now is Mitt Romney
Republican ideas
Are what just got us here
What we don’t need now is Mitt Romney
He’d be just for some
Not for everyone

Verse 1
We don’t need another Reagan
The supply side economy’s
An undertow
Money won’t tickle-down,
It just trickles-up
Right from your cup
To some that overflow

What we don’t need now is Mitt Romney
Republican ideas
Are what just got us here
What we don’t need now is Mitt Romney
He’d be just for some
Not for everyone

Verse 2
We don’t need another foreign war
We’ve had soldiers in Iraq,
Afghanistan
Meanwhile children go hungry
Right here at home
I pen this tome
To make you understand

What we don’t need now is Mitt Romney
Republican ideas
Are what just got us here
What we don’t need now is Mitt Romney
He’d be just for some
Not for everyone

 And a president should be
For every, everyone

Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

IT’S THE LAST MONTH

With the debates over, we can sight the finnish line of this election cycle. I think all will welcome its passing.

IT’S THE LAST MONTH
(To the tune of “It’s the Last Dance,” by Sammy Cahn & Jimmy Van Heusen), from the Frank Sinatra Capitol Records concept album “Come Dance with Me.”)

It’s the last month
We’re into the last month
November is dawning
We head to the polls

Those media spots, we’re sick of them
Realpolitik of them
They bore me to tears
But at least we’ll not hear that noise
For four more years

It’s the last month
Thank God it’s the last month
No more, rude debating
Parading of goals

The candidates, may both be uncouth
But in the voting booth
We’re masters of fate

Enduring the last month
After a long last month
Be winners or losers
We’ll all, celebrate

Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

MAKING ELECTIONS DUMB

MAKING ELECTIONS DUMB
 (To tune of, “Taking a Chance on Love,” by Vernon Duke & John La Touche)

 Here they go again
The  campaign trumpets blow again
Watch the  show again
Making elections dumb

See them vie again
Accuse and then deny again
Campaigning lie for lie again
Making elections dumb

You’d think we’d learn from the last time
Are we dumber than goats?
To them this game is a past time
And the race is on for votes

Oh what gall again
Assaulted in the fall again
We’re made to watch them brawl again
Making elections dumb

Additional verses
We’re, unimpressed again
The candidates undressed again
Making us feel depressed again
From this election numb

All put out again
From that November doubt again
What was it all about again?
Making elections dumb

Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

MITT AND RYAN

MITT AND RYAN
(To tune of “Love and Marriage” by Sammy Cahn and Jimmy Van Heusen)

Mitt and Ryan
Mitt and Ryan
Form a ticket that is awe inspirin’
Hear them as they grandstand
Shouting slogans straight from Ayn Rand

Mitt and Ryan
Mitt and Ryan
“Trickle-down” they’re selling but who’s buyin?”
Kneel and pray to Reagan
And if you won’t they’ll call you pagan

To them needing help is weak, “you’re
Lazy, if idle”
Mitt’s foot is always in his mouth
He needs a good bridle

Mitt and Ryan
Mitt and Ryan
Poised to be the bane of plain folks tryin’
To end a hard-times trauma
We don’t need them
We don’t need them
We don’t need them
Elect Obama!

Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

BUYING THE WHITE HOUSE

Yesterday it was reported that the presidential candidates have already spent over $500 million. 

BUYING THE WHITE HOUSE
(To tune of “April in Paris” by Vernon Duke & E. Y. Harburg from the 1932 Broadway show “Walk a Little Faster”)                       )

Buying the White House
Like drunken sailors
Spending on trailers
Heavy with spin

Buying the White House
Lies in all flavors
Promising favors
If they’d get in

Elections used to have a theme
Issues brought to real debates
Now ad-men in the backrooms stream
Talking points for candidates

It’s buying the White House
Borrow from friends more
Cause whoever spends more
Will win

Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved

IN NEED OF MAGIC DRAGONS

IN NEED OF MAGIC DRAGONS
(To tune of “Puff the Magic Dragon,” by Leonard Lipton and Peter Yarrow, made popular by Yarrow’s folk group, Peter, Paul and Mary (1963)).           

President Obama
Now lives in D.C.
And Puff the Magic Dragon
Once lived in Hannah Lee

ButWashington’s a mean place
And dreamers dare not be
Where politics a game is played
Without frivolity

Where people in the While House
Hate people on the hill
And members of the Congress all
Return the same ill-will

But now it’s been three years and
The ring is there to tell
Two parties in far corners
Wait for the fighter’s bell.

Both throwing sucker punches
The low blows say it all
Knock down the eyed opponent
Though the country might just fall

Meanwhile we the people
Are trying just to live
No one’s cheering for their sport
We have no joy to give

We love our constitution
Checks, balances, give thanks
But now the checks are bouncing
And the balances fill banks

Our founders once high-minded
Were principled enough
To argue and yet compromise
On issues that were tough

Today we’ve mansy-pansies
Small men with brittle pride
Who place above the country’s good
One or the other side

 And Puff the Magic Dragon
Comes not where no one dreams
He’d not know how to frolic
In this place of selfish schemes

 But we could use his magic
Bring Puff there to D.C.
Some frolicking might help those men
See what they fail to see

Let’s summon Jackie Piper
And we’ll all meet him where
We’ll dream a bunch of dragon dreams
They’re sorely needed there

To see again as children
A world big without plots
With eyes as wide as oceans
And brains not tied in knots

Young hopeful expectations
And dreams round all the bends
And days of loved imaginings
And dragons for our friends

And maybe then in Congress
That magic would take hold
And Puff would move the people there
To dare when dreams are told

For dragons though we can’t see
Are with us still today
Close your eyes, remembering
Those endless days of play

All life is just a playground
And Congress is the same
For it’s not if you win or lose
But, how you play the game.

Lyric © 2012 by Robert S. Steinberg, Esquire
All rights reserved